memorial day

 ready to swim

ready to relax

something yummy to drink

I think that memorial day is different for me now. I saw a couple of images with the caption Memorial Day in case you thought it was national BBQ day it really made me think. Perhaps it's because death is so fresh here (still). I think it will always be that way time just dulls the pain, and seems to turn down the volume of the loss and heartache we have felt. I think having been through this makes honoring those who have died for our country more real. Because you know how real the sacrifice of a life is, and you've felt the grief they feel. However, it's not a bad thing it's good to have a day that reminds you (at least it is good for me). Remembering is important. My sister wrote this in a note she gave me after it happened which I will forever cherish: A wife who looses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses her parents is called an orphan. But... there are no words for a parent who loses a child, that is how awful the loss is. It has slowly gotten easier. But I have been forever changed. Did we celebrate with a BBQ & pool party YES! But in my heart it's different. I am more grateful for life, and therefore also the sacrifice of others. 

We still go to the cemetery often... we will now visit 4 spots when we go all children. (Daniel & Savannah are right next to each other) Last time we went Adeline wanted to fix all of the flowers that had fallen over. I mean each, and every one on our walk to the other spot we were visiting. There were a lot of fallen over flowers because it was 6 days after Memorial day. This probably sounds weird, but she always fixes those in the baby land (there's one area where babies are buried), and now as we ventured out further she felt it was important to fix all of the others. She'll probably think this is creepy years from now when she reads this. I didn't know what to do so she fixed them.